Cosmetic Surgery Blog

Although I never thought I’d say this, I have found something better than typical airplane skydiving! Granted, it is the same principle, but it is an entirely different feeling. It is essentially a simulated BASE jump, but you are still in an aircraft. So it is the closest I can get to this feeling until next month when I jump the Perrine bridge in Idaho.

My friend, Mitch, organized a balloon jump with Balloon Addicts of Perris, CA. We had to be there at 6:15 AM, even though the balloon never takes off before 7 AM. The cost was $75 for about 5,000 to 6,000 ft of glorious altitude. There were 10 of us, but I was the only girl. I’ll admit it, I was scared to death. I was peaking so hard from the thought of it. I was quiet, I was nervous but I wasn’t going to allow fear to stop me. After all, fear was irrational. I had enough altitude, and I had a reserve. What could possibly go wrong?

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Farm living is the life for me. Ahhh out of Malibu, and into the wild, wild West. What a change this all is. No longer can I grab my board and take off to the beach in the morning. Now it’s all about waking up at stupid o’ clock to feed the horses, and watching the coyotes run around in my backyard in the evenings. Seriously.

It has always been a dream of mine to get out of the city and have my own ranch. I used to live in Texas as a child with my own horses and now realize just how much work my parents really did to keep the place going. Now, with just me, myself, and I, the work never ends. It’s a never ending routine which assures me an early bedtime every night. I now go to bed sore from horseback riding, hauling wood or hay, weed-eating, installing solar lights, you name it, I can do it. I even bought my own chainsaw! Imagine replacing my foot spa with a chainsaw!!

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…so I can be depressed standing next to beautiful, tall, blond chicks with great skin.   Actually I’m going skydiving in Interlaken and won’t care what the other chicks look like.  I’ll be too busy looking at my altimeter because some of the mountains are actually higher than my exit altitude.  Freaky.

I’ll be back October 4th.  I know it’s a long way to travel to go skydiving, but my boyfriend is BASE jumping out there and I am off to meet up with him and drool all over the fact that I cannot step off the Eiger—YET.   I guess I will have to settle for a plane.  It’s gonna to be freezing at 13 grand!

Wish for me blue skies and soft openings,

M

When Westerners make comments about Outer Mongolia they often are making a reference to the most remote area imaginable. Similarly, the term BFE refers a derogatory description pertaining to the middle of nowhere in Egypt. Well, I can assure you Outer Mongolia is as remote as it comes. However, if you ask me, Inner Mongolia is just as remote.

They may not have that many restrooms available, but by God, they have spectacular cellphone coverage. I was able to talk and text on my iPhone along the highways and even dirtroads outside of small towns and villages. Well, until it, with all of my other belongings, was stolen out of our tough Volkswagon Furgone (which reminds me of an off-road VW van) that held all of our belongings while we were on horseback on day four of our trip. Ahhh, the beginning of an already challenging trip.  But, I get ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning.

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Ugh!  Somebody boil me and transplant my bones into a model’s body!!!  I am sitting at the airport in Seoul, Korea after sleeping on 4 chairs scooted together all night on a layover until my flight to LA.  Mongolia was hardcore.  Someone stole my pack and all of my money, but a monk helped me get it back (well except for the money and a ring). I am in severe need of a new set of nails, a pedicure, new hair extensions, Botox, a filler under my eyes, a month of sleep, and a Cosmelan peel.  I am NASTY!!!!!

I mean I am unbelievably SPENT. No more.  I am quite certain I added at least 10 years to my life.  Yes, it was worth it, well, sorta.  I am glad I did it but it was really harsh on everything.  I am officially going on a salad cleanse, no meat or cheese and no alcohol. Everyone and their grandmother drinks vodka there and it is rude to decline—no matter what time of day it is.  And I drank fermented mare’s milk.  Airag is a tool of the devil and will make anyone’s stomach empty the darkness of hell for a week afterwards if you drink more than a cup or two.

I actually look stocky because of the amount of muscle I put on and now that I am in the full throes of an intense bacterial stomach issue which I hope will help me lose the fat I also put on from the meat and potatoes I had to eat while there.

Please, someone, put a fork in me because I am DONE.  I need a full, intensive, no holds barred MAKEOVER!!!!