Online Trolls and Rude Comments
Is it just me or is everyone fed up with online trolls that can ruin your mood with one swift post? You’d think after being on the Internet as long as I have few things would shock me. I know that I shouldn’t allow myself to become upset over troll-droppings, and honestly I don’t get too incredibly hurt these days by the stupid comments. But, still some trolls slip through the cracks and affect me enough that I ask a few close friends, “Do you think [insert whatever inane comment the meanie said here]”. For instance the last troll on my blog said I had tragically huge lips. Now, I know I do not in fact have tragically huge lips. But the comment did trigger me to ask two friends of mine if they felt I did. They, of course, said no. So I took pics of my lips during speech, smiling, frowning, etc .to see if I did have a trout pout. It was just a mean comment by a troll of a woman who after seeing obvious photos of huge, post-injection, swollen lips decided to spew her venom on me. Thankfully I realized it and didn’t care anymore.
Now my question is, why is it that we allow ourselves to even think twice about a rude comment from some stranger with obviously no manners whatsoever who is miserable enough go out of their way to say something hurtful to make themselves feel good? Why is it that we will hear the one negative comment, but not remember the 25 positive comments? And why in the name of Job is it that they always add “I am not being rude but…”, or “no offense but…”, or even “someone has to say it.” No. you are being rude. You’re a jerk plain and simple. People are still people and people have feelings. Being on the Internet doesn’t make it any less so. These aren’t make-believe people you are being rude to. And I’d bet my wingsuit that you’d never say what you do to the person’s face. You sit behind the safety of your locked doors and Mac computers, pecking away your nastiness on your faded-lettered keyboard. Stop and think before you type out your next malicious remark. Golden Rule folks.
When I am not fending off my own disrespectful comments (not that I can’t take constructive criticism), I am amazed at the barrage of boorish comments directed toward my fellow bloggers out there in beauty land. Who cares if you don’t meet eye to eye on such benign subject matters as which lipstick suits which complexion best? Is the difference in opinion over a sun block, or envy because you cannot afford breast implants, fodder enough to trigger you trolls to go out of your way and launch a smear campaign? We know you are completely miserable in your own life. How do I know this?? Because happy people are busy being, surprise! HAPPY. Happy people don’t go out of their way to hurt someone’s feelings. In fact, studies show that happy people are more polite, courteous and helpful than unhappy human beings. Miserable people are nasty, discourteous, road-raging lunatics. We know it, so don’t even try to defend it with your claims of being a realist.
I cannot even comprehend why someone would even entertain making a comment they know is going to hurt another’s feelings. Justifying such behavior by claiming that one didn’t know it was considered rude is a moot point. Again, the Golden Rule people My closing thoughts are simple and oh-so-cliché. To you trolls: Treat others as you would like to be treated. Don’t make rude comments about someone’s physical appearance, intelligence, lifestyle choices, or otherwise. Keep those nasty comments to yourself. One day you’re going to cross the wrong person with a chemical imbalance and some skipped doses.
Marianne
A. This article was an assignment. It is not an immature way to handle the situation.
B. I don’t feel I have messed up anything good that I have had, or in my life. I am far better off now (in every aspect) than I have ever been in my life.
C. My look is hardly dated. When is the last time you even saw me in person. Oh that’s right—never. Here is a pic of my lips a few days ago. When I am smiling they look bigger so as you can see they are hardly huge. Here you can see I am happy as a clam without a care in the world about PS, or getting my nails done or letting what people like you think get me down. You’re obviously miserable with yourself, so much in fact that you had to go out of your way to try and affect me and guess what…You don’t even remotely matter to me whatsoever. If you want to pick this photo apart look at how I need Resty under my eye again on the left. So what.
D. Please point a post out to me where I have told someone they had BDD. I am not a psychologist, nor have I ever pretended to be and I would NEVER make a statement such as that. I HAVE given people links to BDD info if the conversation [thread] started to lean that way but I have never said they outright had BDD. I wonder if you are in fact a revision rhinoplasty patient. It would not surprise me.
E. I weigh 130 pounds right now, I haven’t weighed this much in a very long time, and guess what. I don’t care! I am happy. YAY! So, if you think 130 is too thin from my “over-dieting” (since you seem to know my every meal plan), you are obviously miserable with your own weight because 130 is quite healthy for my height and bone structure. If you think I look gaunt, that’s fine. But I must say it is rude to put someone down for how they look. I have to admit my jaw muscles have gotten huge since I started Invisalign, for a year and a half now, as I CONSTANTLY clench my jaw with my retainers in. The larger jaw muscles have made me look a bit chiseled (when I am not smiling).
F. And which is it? You feel I think that I am flawless, but you imply that I have BDD. I can’t be both unless I am schizophrenic. I have a lot of flaws, but being an all around jerk is not one of them.
Now you try and have a fabulous day :)
-Marianne
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Reader Comments (10)
I think some people have no comprehension that they are talking to real people when they post on the internet. It is as if we (bloggers and others who create content for the internet) are just outgrowths of the computer, without feelings.
They also may have no comprehension that what they are saying comes off as harsher than they mean it to. For some people, this is a valid excuse. But for others, what they think as being constructive criticism or honest bluntness comes off as sheer cruelty.
And of course, true trolls thrive on the fact that they can run onto a blog and make a nasty comment or say something incendiary and then stand back and watch the fireworks. Once you identify a poster as a troll, ignoring them is the best strategy.
Valerie
Marianne, you're right, happy, balanced people don't feel the need to lash out, and are more inclined to measure their words carefully when giving "costructive critisms". But try to tell that to an unhappy person, they always feel justified in spreading their pain and discontent.
People are entitled to think what they want, but no, "someone didn't have to say it", because it was simlpy stated to hurt. Of course, it hurt when you read it, anyone would have felt the same. When I read it a few weeks ago, my first thought was pity for the person whos world is so tough she felt the need (or duty) to take you down a notch. I can only hope her life gets good enough that she can someday see the difference between someone whom would do that, and someone who wouldn't dream of it, and why. Only the wounded try to wound.
Believe me, the vast majority of people who read her comments thought it was complete rubbish.
On another note, it's nice to see you in such a thrilling place in your life. Enjoy all of your adventures and continue living large.
Pat
Marianne, try not to take what people say too personally. You're very pretty so people get jealous and make crude remarks meant to hurt. Humans can be very cruel and judgemental, and you can't please everyone.
The more I see of people the more I love my animals. And the more I see of internet stalkers the more I want to have a private, anonymous life. There are whackos out there!
At the risk labouring the point, I can only repeat what I said previously.
Marianne - you're as hot as.Anyone who says otherwise is blind and/or crazy.
Marianne,
I'm amazed by your immature behavior on this issue. It's so obvious that 1. You can't take criticism and 2. you seek (as on this post) positive reinforcement and compliments to stroke your insecure ego.
Who are you asking if your lips don't look freakish? The same people that tell you that the new YTF forum is a success?
Please get real. You are not immune to mistakes and flaws and you have a history of messing up good things.
When I was on the real YTF forum, I found myself shaking my head when you would point out someone's BDD, like YOU were one to talk about obsessions! And when some of us would comment or complaint nicely about any small thing related to you, we got criticized and we got in turn defensive behavior, so that obviously didn't work.
I also think your look is very dated and that you are obsessed with dieting when you actually could benefit from a bit of filling up on your facial features. I don't consider you beautiful despite what these other women (I can imagine how THEY look to consider you a beauty) say. But you could look better if you updated your look and stopped obsessing about the wrong things. To me REAL beauty is that of Sofia Loren, Salma Hayek, Monica Bellucci etc. Beauty that can't be replicated even with many procedures. I mean, no contest right there!
Pat, Davey, Sienna, Valerie2 - Thank you all for your comments and support. You guys have really helped me truly see that people (like above) just love to cause drama and not to even think twice about it :)
If any of you are ever in southern Cali, let me know I'll buy you lunch! :)
p.s. I made a follow up to the article above
thankss
Marianne,
I know you've already posted a follow up, but I wanted to chime in with my two cents.
I am so appreciative of how candid you are in your posts. I think you are incredibly beautiful. You are always kind and supportive to people seeking advice, and you seem like such a cool, down to earth person. Ignore the trolls...there are far more positive comments than there are negative.
And to "formery," clearly you have spent a lot of time on the YTF boards so you must have an interest in P.S, and therefor appearance. So, I wonder, who are you to speak about someone else's opinion on their appearance? And why in the world did you feel the need to take time out of your day to sit down at your computer and write such mean-spirited comments?
I think Formery might secretly be some guy that you have dumped/rejected in the past.......
Carrie,
Thank you for your supportive, thoughtful post and kind words :) From now on, I will ignore the meanies :) Or at least try my best! haha! Seriously, thank you for taking the timeout of your day to be supportive and kind. I cannot tell you how much that has mean to me.
Dave: You never know,it could be my ex ;) Thanks for the laugh, You are always such a doll :) Thank you!