Cosmetic Surgery Blog

Next week I will be having surgery to repair a hernia. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, this is the third calendar year in a row that I will be having abdominal surgery. I had a total hysterectomy in 2006. A hernia developed along the internal incision from that surgery and I had it repaired laparoscopically October 2007. The hernia has recurred, so I get to have it repaired again. What joy. (As you read this, understand that each time you see the word “hernia,” I am actually thinking “@#$%&* hernia.”)

But by now, I am an old hand at getting ready for surgery. As hobbies go, getting ready for surgery sucks, but what can I say? Although this is a blog about cosmetic surgery, surgery is surgery, and I figured I would pass along a few tips on getting ready.

My first step is to get my house in order. I try to get the house as clean as possible, without being an absolute nut about it. (I figure that I can keep my house immaculately clean or I can live in it. I can’t do both.) I do all my laundry and change the sheets on the bed and clean the bathrooms.

Next, I set up my sleeping arrangements. I have a wedge-shaped bed pillow, which makes sleeping more comfortable when you have an abdominal incision, and lots of pillows. On my nightstand, I’ll set up a little command center, with a water bottle (my mouth gets really dry when I sleep on my back), several books, and the remote for the TV. The phone is on the other nightstand and in easy reach.

I also fill the refrigerator and freezer. I like to cook and I like to cook big, so I tend to have a freezer filled with meals that I can just microwave. That is my usual case, but I’ve been busy for the last few weeks and the freezer has been running low. So, I plan to make a large pot of beef stew (one of my comfort foods) or cook one of those big chickens and freeze portions. I’ll also stock up on a few other essentials.

I expect to be in the hospital for only a day or two, but I am having a friend keep an eye on my house, take in my mail, and check on the cats. My two cats eat dry food and I have that in a gravity feed dispenser. I also have an automatic cat litter box, which is occasionally troublesome, but is still one of the greatest inventions ever. Frankly, I think my cats would only miss me if I were gone longer than a month, and maybe not then.

This is the time to call in return favors from your nearest and dearest. A friend is going to drive me to the hospital and stick around during the surgery. Another friend will be picking me up when I get discharged. I’ve also been promised a couple of meals.

The good news is that this hernia repair is still relatively minor surgery compared to the total hysterectomy, which included a tummy tuck because I had a bit of a potbelly and an appendectomy, since they do that pretty much any time they are working in that area or your abdomen. The hysterectomy had me in the hospital for 6 days and left me feeling like a truck had parked on top of me. Still, I was expecting utter and total agony then and it wasn’t that bad. (The good thing about being a pessimist is that you are always pleasantly surprised.)

The night before my surgery, I will take a nice long shower and wash my hair. I don’t wear nail polish, so I don’t have to remove any, which you should do before you go into the hospital. I’ll take out my earrings and leave them home. That night I’ll also pack a small bag to take with me to the hospital that will contain some necessities, especially some books, my little MP3 player that I have loaded with audiobooks (I love them!), a small knitting project, and a couple of books of puzzles. Being in the hospital is boring as all get out, so I always bring something to do, even though I know I will spend a lot of time sleeping.

I like to pack very soft comfy clothing for the hospital. I buy a couple of those lounge pants that are like sweatpants but made from T-shirt material. A few T-shirts or long sleeved T-shirts and I am packed. I can go to and from the hospital in those outfits or wear them as pajamas, if needed. (I’ve also found that the men’s versions of these lounge pants are cheaper and of better quality than the ones sold in the women’s department. So what if they are all dark colors?)

The other way I get ready for surgery is to go out and buy lots of books and enough yarn for about six knitting projects. Those are my treat to me. I expect to be out of work for two weeks, so I will probably rent a few movies, too. The one thing I will avoid is comedies. Laughing really hurts when you have an abdominal incision!